Holler

I am going to be 23 this Sunday. And, as usual, I am not excited one bit. Maybe because my birthday always falls when I have finals or something important coming up. Anyways, lets see how good the next year will be for me. It surely is going to be one very important year of my life as I will be looking for a fulltime job here in the US. I hope I get one soon.

Time just flew by I guess. I have been doing good. Sort of busy, mostly doing something or the other. It has never been the same as it was in India where I had no clue how to pass my time when I had nothing to do. I got laid off from my previous on campus job because of some lame ass reason. But, luckily I got a new job with almost twice the previous pay so nothing to crib about it. And, it's a good job where in I am learning a lot. And, for a change, I am actually thinking about my career in web applications development. Lets see.

I haven't been watching any tv shows. I desperately want to catch up with Californication, Breaking Bad, blah. I have been playing a lot of Counter Strike. Music has taken a back seat too. I just manage to listen to Pandora while am at work. Other than that, I really don't have that motivation to look at the billboard. I am going to India after almost 1.5 years this December. I will be leaving on December 26th. My parents have made quite a lot of plans because my sisters will also be there. As far as I know of the plans, I will be visiting Pune, Raigarh, Delhi and Calcutta. I am hoping to catch up with my juniors and friends in Delhi and Pune. Also, my cousins and family in Calcutta. I hope while coming back, I don't get that "I dont wanna go back" feeling like most of us do.

Rest is fine.

P.S. - I noticed I am way too shy and self conscious while shitting in a bathroom. I just don't feel like letting that poop go away when I know somebody is trying to do the same thing sitting in the next compartment. It is sort of embarrassing. Don't you think so?

Well, think about the smell, the noise. OMG. I am off.

Vegas bitches!

My first Vegas trip - I am still confused as to what happened and what was supposed to happen. Anyways, totally unplanned, not so memorable, lots of fun and lots of moolah spent on this trip of mine and I don't regret any part of it. I only learnt I have to plan a lot more before making my next trip to Vegas totally worth it. But, Vegas didn't disappoint me one bit. It's indeed the sin city. It was fun drinking while roaming around (for a change). It was fun experiencing my first gambling loss (worth 100$). It was fun dancing in the middle of some thousands of people at one of the casinos. I bet if I wasn't drunk, I wouldn't have enjoyed it. But, I hope I shook my bootey like it is supposed to be. Anyways, there is a lot of stuff to write about and I can't just seem to recollect all of them right now.

I was worried about going to Vegas and coming back safely more than anything else. Thanks to our driver viru, he got us all back safely managing just one speeding ticket. I am so glad he broke only a few red lights and didn't stop at about a dozen stop signs. I know he couldn't cater us to the best of his capabilities but then, all's well that ends well.

I am glad I didn't make that call to Kimberly again. This proves no matter how drunk I am, I am a responsible guy. I realized playing poker when you are drunk can give you mixed feelings. I was up for most of the time but when that kick of strawberry margarita hit me after almost an hour, I went all in without even thinking about the possibilites. I can only laugh about it and I actually feel funny. Maybe, it's because of the fact that I got 125$ in my bank account just 2 days before going to Vegas. Thanks to chase bank.

I saw a lot of casinos. I was embarassed by the bouncer of the night club at Bellagio (called the bank) but then I don't feel bad about it because he was embarassing everyone waiting in the line to get in.

And, now I am blank. Probably laters.

Bye

Finally, I know how to cook!

Yay, that is right! I finally know how to cook two different dishes in such a way that they both taste different. Previously, whatever I cooked tasted the same. Technically, the dishes weren't even closely related, forget about them tasting the same. Anyways, so today with a heavy heart, I decided not to add my usual stuff and luckily, the taste changed drastically. I was mesmerised for once but then realised that I was just not willing to experiment so it had to happen. Anyways, I am happy. And, I hope and pray that in future the dishes actually start to taste how they are supposed to be.

Asswipe! I am a pervert.

Disclaimer: If you dont like to read about stuff like how to wipe your ass, dont read any further. This post is going to be filthy to the core.

Okay, so today I am going to share my views on how to clean your/mine/everybody's asshole's after shitting. As much as I know, not many people wipe their asses off with a tissue paper. It's not the same here in America. No wonder, the bathrooms in public places here are much more cleaner than at home. Believe me, I wouldn't want to get into the condition of my potty seat back home. And, no it is not because of me. I am a cleanliness freak. It's all because of my roomate. I'd rather come to office and do my morning excretion here than at home.

Anyways, getting back to the point, when I first landed here, I thought it would be difficult adjusting to the whole transition from wiping my ass with wet hands to just wiping it off by a tissue paper. But, weirdly it hasn't been that difficult at all. By the way, just to let you know, I still wash it at home. It makes me feel homely and wet (lol). The tissues are only meant for public places.

So, till now I really have been doing it the way I thought it would be the most practical to do. But, recent discoveries from a movie has startled me. I was watching the movie "National Lampoons: Adam and Eve" starring the lovely Emmanuelle Chirqui. I forgot the lead actor's name. I think he is Michael Douglas' son but I am not too sure about it. Anyways, so in this one particular scene, the actor and his friends discuss about how they wipe their asses after shitting. Although I don't think it is true, but some of them said they stand and wipe. What the fuck! I think it was just for humor but then you never know. I don't go about asking people how they do it. I just hope it's not true. If it is, I dont know what to say. I am just dumbfounded.

Moving on, the actor said he wipes his ass by leaning onto one side and sliding his hands through the sides of the butt. This does sound a bit practical but I never realized it could have been done this way. Do any of you guys do it this way? Girls can answer too if they want to. When his friends asked him why would he do it in such a weird way, his explanation was justified too. He explained how nothing comes in between the tissue paper, shit and the body if it is done this way which did make a bit of sense. So, I don't know. I would believe I just learnt a new technique to wipe my ass. I am definitely looking forward to try it out.

For me, I thought it was pretty elementary and that everyone does it the same way. So, what I do is head on. Meaning, start from the front, grab my tool, lift it up, slide the other hand inside and wipe it off. Sounds pretty simple, aint it? If it gets a bit messy, take some more tissues and wipe everything. PERIOD.

So, thats about it. Just wanted to share my pervertness. Also, I realized not many people throw back the tissues in the potty after they are done. My fucking roommate does whatever (including masturbation, shitting, blah) and throws that goddamn yuck tissue in the dustbin. I can prove it cuz those tissues are quite visible and hardened or whatever. You know what I mean right? It sucks though. I didn't know this earlier too but I though about it once. What if I put the tissue inside the potty? Will it go in or keep on floating like a ciggarette butt? I tried it once and I instantly knew it was meant to go inside with the shit and not stay out in the dustbin grossing others out. This realization dawned upon me after 2 months of living here. But, I am pretty sure my roomate doesn't know about it. If he does, why the hell wouldn't he just let it flush? Whatever.

I don't want to get into the stains on the seat now. I wonder how guys can be so dirty. I am sure I am fucking clean.

Laters.

LOL

I am so fucking drunk. I don't know how much I've had. I don't know anything. I want to sleep but I can't. I have work tomorrow. God help me!

captain+coke

dark lager

cherry martini

camel lights+marlboro lights+camel crush

bacardi+coke

rum+coke

XBOX+deadalive

poker

3 man

jalapenos+onions+frozen pizza

I know you guys hate me!

TGIF! Random blah blah

My bum and back has been paining a lot because of the amount of racquetball I have been playing recently.

I am done with the project. Waiting to hear from my boss what is to be done next.

Nothing extravagant planned for the weekend. I want to go to LA.

Been self-loving a lot lately.

My hair's all (read head hair) grown up now.

Have been drinking a lot of Diet Coke. Is it okay if I drink a lot of soda?

I and B (one of my good roomates) got a packet of refrigerated hash browns cut into small pieces. So, I decided I'll make a potato dish yesterday. I am so pissed with the outcome. Unfortunately, everything I cook tastes the same. Be it rajma, cholle or whatever. I thought about it. I realized it obviously would because I end up adding everything to all the dishes irrespective of how it is supposed to be cooked.

I got a short from Walt Disney when I went there last winter break with my sister. It makes me look as if I have a boner 24*7.

I am trying to grow this chin goatee or whatever you call it since 3 weeks now. It has grown quite a bit but I have started resembling a goat. i dont know if I should shave it off or wait for it to grow more so that I could make a pony tail out of it.

I wanted to get a tattoo done but I have figured that people who have tattoos here are considered to be some kind of outcasts. I wonder why though. I think tattoos do look cool only if they are not all over the body. How about piercing?

I haven't updated my iPod touch since ages now. I am not even tripping anymore over the psychedelic trance that I have in it.

I am over orkut and facebook. I no longer am addicted to these sites. That's a good news for me I suppose. They can kiss my marwadi ass.

I am missing Goldflake :( I have to suffice with Marlboro lights or Camel here. They suck man! These people need to experience the goodness of Classic Milds as well.

My mom's been coming online a lot lately. They are looking for a guy for my second sister. Btw, I have 2 elder sisters. I am the youngest and the most pampered (that is what I believe). Any potential rich good guy can ping me. We can have a drink together and prolly talk about it.

Enough of my shit for now.

The bed bugs are killing me. My house is a fucking mess. I don't want to crib but I am so pissed off with how things have been going on. I have red rashes all over my fucking body. I can't sleep peacefully at night. There has been an increase in the number of small motherfucking flies in our house that are normally found near the garbage can. I want to get out from this sad place. Gawd!

Warning: Geekiness involved in this post!

Hi guys,

I just felt like updating my blog with something I learnt today at my workplace. It involves dealing with customers, a bit of brain and a lot of smart work manipulation. It also involves Flash player but that's just the geek part of it. Don't bother about it.

So, if you go to this website - http://students.asu.edu/mssenews, you can see a flash player with 6 images playing continuously. Since I work as a student web developer at ASU, we get these request tickets from different departments at ASU wanting updates and changes to their department's homepage.

So, I got a request to update this page by removing all the 6 current pics and adding new pics to it. Now, I thought it would be pretty simple. I knew it was in flash. I also knew I can do it even though I have no idea what flash is. So, i started working on it. Firstly, when I looked at the code, I had no freaking idea what to do with it. I realized that a flash player is generally first developed and then embedded inside a webpage using scripting language. I then downloaded this flash .swf file on to my computer and started wondering what I can possibly do to just change some images. I am telling you that itself took me a couple of hours. It's not easy at all.

So, apparently, this .swf file is coded in .fla extension first and then exported to a .swf file as a flash file or something like that. Now, since I didn't know how to code and I didn't want to learn it right now, I decided I would rather google. Luckily, I found a couple of trial softwares which helped me just change the images from the previous ones to the new ones. But, there was a problem. Guess what? This guy sent me some 15 pics and this flash player had controls for only 6 pics.

I really could have done it but I didn't want to right now because learning Flash is not going to help me gain something. So, I tried to convince this guy in my way.

First of all, the people who request for such updates hardly know anything about webpages and all that. They are more materialistic when it comes to updating their websites. They would rather go for the look and feel which I have confessed is not my thing at all. Secondly, he just sent me these pics clicked by a digital camera which were close to 2 MB each. Now, who on earth has such heavy pics on their webpages. It is quite obvious for us but I guess not for them. So, I had to compress all the pics first. Then, I somehow convinced him. I'll probably paste the conversation below:

Me: I have removed the current pics and uploaded 6 of the new pics. Can you please have a look at them? Also, the control of that flash player is such that there can only be 6 images at one time playing in that flash player. If you want me to add more, I will have to develop a new flash player to include all the pics. Do let me know what you want me to do.

ThatGuy: If it is not too much of a problem. I will probably send more pics in the future as well. Is this okay?

Me: Well, I am not a flash developer frankly speaking. But, if you want it, I can do it but it will take some time because I will have to learn it first.

Also, generally in web 2.0 standards, it is advisable to have a flash player with fewer controls. For example, even if you see ASU's home page, you will find only 3-4 images playing continuously. If we add more pics, the application becomes heavy and the page in turn will take lots of time to load. So, I would suggest to leave it like this and then updating new pics every week or depending on how frequently you want it.

Anyways, do let me know what you think about it.

ThatGuy: Okay...i understand...Can I take a more careful look at the pictures then and select my 6 favorite?

Good idea. Thank you.

Me: No problem. When you have selected the 6 of your favorite pics, let me know their filenames. I will update the webpage then.


...And, I got away 15 mins before :)

laters.

P.S. Do you think I am an asshole for doing this or just a smart indian guy? :| Although I really didnt know what I was telling is the truth or not, I did make sense. Didn't I?

Two posts back to back is quite an achievement for me. And, I feel like blogging only because I don't have my best friend to talk to. She has gone somewhere suddenly and I haven't heard from her since a week now. I am starting to miss her like anything. She is the only person in my life who understands me in-out and knows every single detail about my life. I am just hoping everything is all right with her. I just hate it when she leaves me like this. No wonder I resort to blogging because I don't have anybody to talk to.

Anyways, I woke up early for a change today. It had been a long time since I had a subway sandwich breakfast so I decided to go for it. I remember I tried a Subway sandwich in India once and it sucked to the core. I felt like puking. But, I somehow love the American sub. Probably since I had no idea what olives, jalapenos, banana peppers and pickles were then, I didn't really like the idea of it. Also, I don't have much of an option here so I might as well just eat something which is good for health and not too fatty. I then went to work - my oncampus job as a student web developer. And, now I am back home thinking whether I should go to the gym or not.

That's all for an abrupt update. Laters

Back from the hiatus..Maybe?

It has become a tradition for me to start every post with something like "It's been ages since I have blogged..." so I'll cut you all that slack. It's funny and ironical at the same time that everytime I say I am back to blogging, I just dont blog at all. It is not the writer's block for sure. I have so much to write and talk about. It's just that feeling of not writing, you know! Anyways, I guess it's been more than a month since I have updated anything here. So, I shall just touch upon the things that have been happening in my life and I once again apologize to everybody for not keeping in touch. I suck at it and by now you shouldn't crib about it because that is how I really am.

I just went through my previous post and I realized that it was written when my previous semester was going on and I had some stupid presentations lined up. I did well I guess. Although my cumulative GPA dropped from 3.89 to 3.78, I am not sad about it. I managed to get 2 A's and 1 B in my last semester. Time passed by so freaking fast that the upcoming Fall semester is almost about to get going from the next month and I think I am still not ready for it.

The internship hunt wasn't fruitful enough for me. I tried and tried even more. I kept on applying but I couldn't get anything I wanted to do this summer. Instead, I kept getting other offers out of which I finally had to accept one of them because I did not want to go back to India and spend my summer over there doing nothing but eating and sleeping all day. Not to mention, it was website development yet again :)

Fortunately, I am not finding it boring at all. I figured I did not like the designing of simple HTML pages but when it comes to coding in C# in ASP.NET, I am in absolutely love with it. All I am doing is developing a functionality in a website by coding in c# instead of designing how it looks and all that stuff which I consider more girly. I am being paid 1100$ for the beta stage of the project for 5 weeks. I am almost done with it and I feel I have really learnt a lot. It has influenced me so much so that I gave it a thought to think about my field of interest and what kind of a job would I be looking for as soon as I graduate. It's a long way ahead I know.

Apart from this, I have been going out, visiting places, saving a lot of money, buying new clothes, trying to shed some pounds, getting bored time and while, surfing a lot, blah. Life has become a bit stable I guess. There hasn't been anything eventful that has happened lately. And, I am beginning to sulk a lot. I feel like going to India for a change. Friends matter a lot in this country. If you have a good outgoing American friend who is willing to take you out, this is probably the best place anybody can be in. But, on the contrary if you dont have anybody like that, all you can do is just live on your own. Nothing great about it.

The only difficulty I have is with food. I am just starved. I am craving to eat something Indian and this is when I miss my home the most. My daily routine has just become crazy. On weekdays, I get up somewhere around 10-11 am and go to work. I normally don't have breakfast but if I manage to, I eat cereals every morning. Lunch generally comprises of a chicken sandwich or a burger with a drink. I have stopped thinking about the healthiness of the food now. There is no point to think about it in this country. I come back by 5 pm. If I feel like, go to the Sports Recreation Center by 6pm. I play Racquetball if I find somebody to play with or else I just run for like an hour. I come back tired by 9 pm and feel like lying down and doing nothing. But, this is when I am supposed to be working on my project. In the end, I end up chatting every night. Weekends are the worst. I sleep for almost 12 hours daily in the weekends. It's just going on and on. I am kind of bored with it.

I think I'm done for now. I am so bored of this post already.

Laters

P.S. I need a car and a nice clean place to live in. Most importantly, I need good friends.